Drew Barrymore says being a divorced single mom has changed how she feels about sex.
The “Drew Barrymore Show” host, 47, published a candid essay on her personal blog revealing that she has “very different feelings” about intimacy now than she did when she was growing up.
“I lived a very rich full life,” Barrymore writes in her essay, referring to her well-publicized younger years, which were filled with “hedonism” and “adventures.”
“However, after two kids and a separation from their father that has made me cautious, I have had the pleasure of shifting my focus when it comes to love for myself and my two daughters,” she writes, adding, “I know that does not include a man nor has it for a while.”
The “Charlie’s Angels” franchise star’s essay comes less than a month after she made headlines when she said on her talk show that she could go “years” without sex. Barrymore made the comment after hearing about actor Andrew Garfield giving up sex for six months in preparation for a movie role, according to Decider.
In her essay, Barrymore, who shares daughters Olive, 10, and Frankie, 8, with ex-husband Will Kopelman, explains that, thanks to her therapist, she now understands that sex and love are not the same thing — and now views sex as “the expression of love.”
The “E.T.” star goes on to reveal that she hasn’t been in an intimate relationship since her painful 2016 divorce from Kopelman, which, she writes, “rocked me to my core.”
“I have had the honor and a pleasure to actually work on myself and learn what parenting is, again something I was not exactly clear on growing up and I’ve had many learning curves thrown my way,” she writes.
“I’m also raising two daughters, so how we raise girls to be appropriate and empowered and to love themselves and to realize that we live in an age where the images and messages that they will see will also contradict what I have come to believe intimacy is!” Barrymore continues.
Intimacy, writes Barrymore, “is something that makes you feel good about yourself!”
The actor and TV host explains that she is now in “a completely different place in my life” and a relationship “simply hasn’t been my priority.”
“So I’m not a person who needs sex and has to go out there and engage with people on that level,” she explains. “I am someone who is deeply committed to fostering how young girls, my daughters, and myself as a woman, are supposed to function in this world!”
“A relationship with a man has not been top of mind for me for a very long time,” she continues. “Some people can get out of a marriage or relationship and in the near future find themselves in another relationship. There is nothing wrong with that! Not one bit. I do not judge! I celebrate their journey! Because for some people that really works. It didn’t work for me.”
Barrymore writes that after her divorce from Kopelman, she “needed to stay very celibate” as she honored and mourned “the loss of a nuclear family” that she dreamed of providing for her daughters.
“It took time. I’m proud of myself that I took that time. That’s what I, as my own individual and no one else just me, needed to do and I honored that and I respect myself for it, as I respect anyone else for their choices,” she writes.
“I have just simply come to laugh about the fact that it is not my personal priority to be with a partner, but that doesn’t mean it won’t become one someday. I need time. And my view on sex has truly changed,” she adds.
“So for the record, I do not hate sex! I have just finally come to the epiphany that love and sex are simply not the same thing,” she concludes.
After years of being a “bombastic party girl,” Barrymore writes, she is happy now to be “a calm woman” and is “lucky enough to have my cup runneth over in the love department.”
“I have my two daughters, and for the first time ever in my life, I’m actually including self-love, too.”
In an Instagram video on Oct. 17, Barrymore encouraged fans to read the emotional essay, which she called a “course correction” on her “feelings about intimacy, relationships, what I’ve learned, what I wish I had known (and) what I know now.”